Monday

Zucchini: Suddenly Hot Again


Look — we eat potatoes a lot. Like… a lot.
Colorado cold hits, and suddenly I’m over here making potatoes six different ways like it’s a personality trait.

But even I, Lord of the Tuber, occasionally need something that isn’t starchy comfort wearing a beige trench coat.

Enter: Zucchini.
A vegetable I used to walk past in the grocery store like an ex at Target — polite nod, zero intention.

Then one day I brought some home on a whim (you know how “whims” go with me), tossed them in garlic, olive oil, lemon, and a whisper of chili heat…
and my god.

They came out soft, juicy, silky, and just a little naughty.
The kind of vegetable that makes you raise an eyebrow at yourself in the reflection of the oven door.

Super easy, super fast, and now in heavy rotation.


🧄 What You Need

  • Zucchini (2–3, depending how needy you’re feeling)

  • Good olive oil

  • Garlic, lots of it

  • Fresh lemon

  • Chili flakes

  • Salt like you mean it

  • A handful of chopped peanuts

  • Something green (parsley, cilantro, basil — we’re not precious)


🔥 How To Make Them Fall For You

  1. Slice the zucchini however you like. No need to impress anyone.

  2. Toss with olive oil, garlic, chili flakes, and salt.

  3. Roast at 400° until they surrender and collapse into tenderness.

  4. Finish with lemon juice, herbs, and crushed peanuts for crunch.

Serve warm and smug.


Why This Works

Because zucchini is basically a sponge with a dream.
Give it fat, heat, acid, and a surprise crunch, and suddenly this overlooked little thing is seductive as hell.

10/10 recommend.
Would serve to friends, lovers, enemies, and everyone in between.

Sunday

Is Papaya an Aphrodisiac? Let’s Talk About It Like Adults Who Eat Fruit Naked


There are two kinds of people in this world:

Those who eat papaya because it’s healthy
and those who eat papaya and quietly think, “Well. This feels… suggestive.”

Let’s clear the air. Possibly while standing in a warm kitchen, barefoot, with juice dripping down your wrist.

Papaya is not technically an aphrodisiac.
But also… it’s not not one.

The Myth (Because Humanity Is Horny and Always Has Been)

Papaya has been flirted with by history as a fruit of vitality.
Warm climates. Bare skin. Sticky sweetness. The visual alone does a lot of heavy lifting. Humans saw papaya centuries ago and collectively said, “Yeah… that thing’s trying to say something.”

Science, however, is annoyingly sober.

There’s no magical compound in papaya that flips some ancient switch and sends you swooning into silk sheets. No potion. No spell. No guarantee of a productive evening.

But let’s talk about what it does do.

Papaya’s Real Power Move

Papaya is loaded with vitamin C, antioxidants, potassium, and papain—an enzyme that helps digestion so efficiently it borders on rude. It makes your body feel lighter. Less bloated. Less sluggish.

And here’s the quiet truth no one likes to say out loud:

Feeling good in your body is half the battle.

When you’re not weighed down by whatever regret you ate at lunch, your mood improves. Your skin looks better. Your energy comes back online. Confidence sneaks in. And confidence, friends, is deeply attractive.

Papaya doesn’t seduce you.
Papaya removes obstacles.

Texture Matters (Don’t Pretend It Doesn’t)

Soft but structured. Sweet without being coy. Juicy without chaos. Papaya knows exactly what it’s doing on a fork.

You don’t shovel papaya.
You linger with it.

It’s the fruit equivalent of eye contact.

Is It an Aphrodisiac or Just a Vibe?

If aphrodisiac means “scientifically proven horniness accelerator,” then no. Papaya’s innocent.

If aphrodisiac means “puts you in a better mood, makes you feel good in your skin, and pairs suspiciously well with warm air, quiet music, and low expectations,” then yes. Absolutely yes.

Papaya doesn’t promise anything.
But it sets a tone.

And sometimes, that’s better than promises.

So eat the papaya. Chill it first. Cut it clean. Take your time. Let the juice run a little.

Worst case scenario: you feel healthy.
Best case: well… something else feels healthy too.